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It's not as serious as death, but it feels a whole lot like it, and as I've come to learn, pain is pain any way you slice it.” ― Chelsea Handler, “My relationship with my father had been on the proverbial fritz since the time I was fifteen and called the police to report him for child molesting.

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That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. It's the pain of being betrayed by a person with whom you've fallen in love.

It’s a pain you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy; you wouldn’t want to pass it on to anyone else for fear he or she might not be able to bear it. “The problem is that everyone who gets married seems to think that they are the first person in the entire universe to do it and that the year leading up to the event revolves entirely around them.

It’s the pain of being betrayed by a person with whom you’ve fallen in love. You have to throw them showers, bachelorette weekends, buy a bridesmaid dress, and then buy a ticket to some godforsaken town wherever they decide to drag you.

I had never asked him to come to happy hour and watch me drink." — Chelsea Handler 7."I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. I'm fair game, it's not like I'm that picky, you've seen the guys I've dated. If I did, I'd have no friends." — Chelsea Handler If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... From the sweetest love quotes, inspirational sayings, and hilarious relationship truths, we've got you covered.

An area man is winded after a particularly lengthy Wendy's order, the NRA sets 1,000 killed in a school shooting as the amount it would take them to reconsider much of anything, and a Ford assembly line worker is thinking about asking out a cute welding robot from work.

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